#give that man a baby

[anonyunknownonearth]

Bruce Wayne has baby fever. Give that man a baby and he becomes a cooing puddle o n t h e f l o o r, still carefully holding the baby up. You hand that man a baby and the baby’s dad comes back and this is what occurs. Basically, Every. Single. Time.

Situation; Bruce sees a baby. Parents look tired. He smiles and tells him he could look after the baby, finally sleeping, in the buggy for a bit as the parents refresh themselves. The parents agree in relief.

Cue: Baby wakes up. Baby Cries. Bruce picks Baby up.

Cue: Parents come back.

Dad: Oh thanks for th-

Dad: ...

Dad: Honey? Honey, I think the baby has magic…

(It is gotham afterall)

Mom: Huh? *arrives*

Mom & Dad: ….

*Baby happily giggling on top of a suspiciously human looking black puddle, held up and floating softly. Buggy abandoned to the side*

Pt 2

[lambsouvlaki]

His Heart (Dad!Jason AU)

Character: Jason Todd x civilian! Fem!oc

Rating and Warnings: G, no warnings, besides sappiness.

Word Count: 1,390

Summary: Jason comes back from a years long mission in space, and finds out he's a dad.

Masterlist

Jason stepped into the JLA Watchtower. Earth glowed, vast, blue, and beautiful, through the giant windows. It had been almost two years since he saw it. Dorothy knew what she was on about, there really was no place like home.

He was so sick of sleeping alone in his bunk. Andy had just moved into his apartment when he got swept away, and it had just started to feel really right. 

Dick stood in the otherwise empty airlock in civvies. The furrow on his forehead was a little deeper than it had been last time, but his smile was just as wide and genuine. 

He stepped forward and wrapped Jason up in a hug. Jason hugged his brother back, far beyond pretending at coldness. Space was cold enough, and the two years on the front lines had taken their toll on him. 

“I wasn’t expecting a welcome party,” he said as they pulled back. 

“What were you expecting?”

“I dunno,” he said, scratching the back of his neck. “Maybe a giant spray painted sign saying ‘And don’t come back!’”

Dick laughed. “Sure, if we wanted to see how long it’d take you to break into the tower.”

“Three minutes.”

“Well, you’re tired, we wouldn’t hold it against you.”

Jason scoffed. “I missed you, you asshole.” 

Dick flashed his winning smile. “So now what? I only saw your arrival by chance. Do you have plans?”

“Not really. I’ll probably slink home, see if it's still standing. See if Andy still… wants anything to do with me.” 

Dick blinked, his expression going blank. 

Jason’s heart clenched. Was there just an empty apartment waiting for him with a note that had been collecting dust for eighteen months? It would be exactly what he deserved, he thought with a bitter twist of his lips. 

“I guess I’ll settle in for a couple of days then go find her,” he said. Maybe just messaging her would be kinder? No, he was going to look her in the eye, even if it was just to say goodbye. 

“Don’t do that,” Dick said. He touched Jason’s shoulders urgently. “Go straight to her. I’ll take you, we’re going now. She deserves that much.” He turned and hurried through the hallways towards the zeta tubes. 

“Whoa, what? What are you talking about?” Jason caught up to him, grabbed his arm and dragged him back to a halt. “What’s happened?”

“Look, it’s not really my place to say.”

“You’re freaking me out, Dick,” he growled. “What, is she dying?” 

“No! No, Jason, she… she’s had a baby. Your baby.” 

For a moment the world stopped. The rotation of the vast planet out the window surely halted, same as the beat of his heart. 

“What?” Jason rasped. 

“Sophie. She turned one a few months back.” 

“She’s my–? Oh. Oh fuck.” 

The world rebooted, spinning anew but the axis had moved. Jason leaned hard against the wall. “Sophie,” he whispered. 

Dick patted him on the shoulder. “Congratulations, by the way. For a year ago.”

Jason laughed, frantic and broken. 

“Do you need a moment?” Dick offered. “We can go sit and–”

“No.” Jason pulled himself up. He marched towards the zeta tubes. “We’re going now. Straight to Andy and my– my daughter. Is she… how is she? Are they okay? Did the family help out?”

“Of course, Jay. That little girl has a whole circus’ worth of aunts and uncles who love her to bits. And a doting grandfather and great grandfather who spoil her rotten.” 

He hung his head as they reached the platform. “I should have been there. I should have been there. What kind of deadbeat am I?”

“Save that for Andy.” 

“Yeah.” 

---

They drove from the manor to the apartment by the river overlooking the Narrows. It was the same one he and Andy had shared for that halcyon four months before duty came calling. 

Dick dropped him off downstairs, saying he didn’t want to intrude but demanded Jason call him when he was settled in to plan some kind of family night. Jason didn’t hear a word of it. 

He made it to the apartment door without registering any of it. He dropped his bag of gear. 

He knocked. 

“Coming!” Andy’s voice called. Faint music was drifting out through the walls, something upbeat and light. The door opened, letting in noonday light to the dark hallway, shining around a smiling Andy. She was in loose workout clothes that were stained on the shoulders. She wore no makeup and her hair was up in a bun on top of her head, and her skin had a light sheen of sweat. 

Her expression stuttered at the sight of him. 

He had no words. 

“Jason?” 

He surged forward. She met him halfway. Her arms wrapped around him as tight as his did around her, and it felt more right than anything ever had before. 

He managed to get her name out, before he kissed her. Her hand grazed his cheek so tenderly. 

He pulled back and looked into her eyes. Had there ever been anything so beautiful? 

“Jason, I have to tell you,” she said, putting a hand on his chest. “While you were gone, I…”

“I know. Dick told me.” He looked around the entryway. Even if Dick hadn’t said a word the folded up pram, the tiny raincoat, and the row of little shoes would give the game away. The furniture had seen a change too, most things had been moved higher up.

His eyes caught on the shoes. They were so small. He couldn’t help his smile. 

“Where is she?” he asked. 

“Gaa,” a high pitched voice rang out from the living room. 

Andy’s lips quirked. 

Soft, slow footfalls patted on the hard flooring, heralding the new arrival. 

He stepped forward, out of the still open doorway. 

And a little girl toddled into view. She was wobbly but her face was fixed into a determined pout. She stuck her nappy-wrapped bum out for balance, and held her arms cautiously forwards. She wore a single sock and a yellow dress. 

Jason’s heart relocated itself. It no longer lived in his chest.

She had a wispy halo of black floppy curls and a chubby round face. She stared at him. 

He knelt down. 

“Sophie, baby girl, this is your daddy. Can you say daddy?”

“Mammy.”

“Daddy,” Andy repeated, her voice wet.  

Sophie hummed. She toddled closer, relentless despite some wobbles. She stuck out her lower lip and fixed her eyes to him with absolute determination. He held out his hand. She reached back, closer with every step. 

Jason held his breath. 

Her whole tiny hand wrapped around his crooked index finger. She laughed in triumph and then fell onto her bottom.

“Oom,” she said on impact. 

She looked up at him again, actually seeing him now that her quest was complete. Big curious eyes of sparkling blue stared at him. 

“Hello,” he said. He offered a shaky smile. His eyes were glassy. 

She stared back. She blinked.

“Da.”

His tears fell. “That’s me,” he said. 

“Da. Da. Da de da den dayaya,” she babbled and giggled at herself.  She lifted her arms at him.

He lifted her gently and held her to his chest. She was so impossibly small. He could feel her heart beat against him, so feverishly fast. But she was calm, quite happy to be held. He curled around the most precious thing in the world. His breath hitched as he tried not to sob. 

She hugged him back; chubby little arms wound around his neck. She was so unafraid. 

He looked up at Andy. She was smiling down at them through her own tears, her hand held over her mouth. 

He stood, lifting his baby up. He held his little girl in one arm and the love of his life in the other. The baby was the only one dry eyed. Andy kissed the downy top of her head. Sophie leaned her head against his chest with a little sigh, safely ensconced between them. 

“Uncy?” 

“Hn?” he queried. 

“No, baby, he’s not an uncle.” 

Sophie turned her head back, looking up at him.

“Uncy Da,” she said, like she wasn’t letting them trick her that easy. 

He gave an amused snort that almost covered the yawning gulf in his heart. “That’s what I get for not being here.” 

“You’ll just have to stick around and convince her otherwise.” 

“Yeah.” He took a deep breath. “I will.”

Next>>

[daniwib]

Potential ‘accidental baby acquisition’ storyline for Buck in season 8?

HenRen’s new foster daughter Mara is 9. In 7x07 (Ghost of a Second Chance), we find out she has a 2-year-old brother, Tyson. Her parents both died – but Tyson has a biological father, ‘with rights of his own’.

911 has always foreshadowed storylines well before they happen. One example I can think of right away is Jeff’s leg injury in 2x02 (7.1) foreshadowing Buck’s in 2x18 (This Life We Choose)

From the Coach saying “This kid is a son to me” to Bobby being the one to get him out, reassuring him all the way and finally yelling “Make sure he keeps that leg,” all of it was thematically echoed back nearly a whole season later when Buck got crushed under the ladder truck. There are other examples of the same thing that I can’t remember right now.

So, when I was watching 7x07 and heard “He's a biological parent. He gets to decide what's best for his son” I couldn’t help but wonder.

Is Mara’s story foreshadowing a potential ‘accidental baby acquisition’ storyline for Buck in season 8?

It could be a later season, too. The only reason I think it might be in season 8 is because Maddie was 9 when Daniel died – and Buck was 1. Had he only just turned 1, or was he 1 nearly 2? Because Mara is 9 – and Tyson is 2… Connor & Kameron’s son was delivered (by Buck, no less) in 6x18 (Pay It Forward) and could be anywhere from 6 months to 1 year old in canon time now. Time lines are messy in 911 verse so that’s a complete guess. By the time season 8 comes around, that baby boy might well be 2 years old.

Am I making something out of nothing? Who knows. All I know is that 911 likes foreshadowing – and they’ve been doing an awful lot of very fan ficcy tropes this season. So why not add a bit of accidental baby (toddler) acquisition for Buck as well? If Connor and Kameron should sadly die and leave the little lad an orphan, well there’s a biological father right there…

[that-was-tedious]

This 100% reads like Maddie dropping Jee off to cheer up her Uncle Buck because he’s been upset and sad and she Can’t Take It anymore. Also yes I’m so excited for more Buck and Jee.

[c-tepx]

soooo to laios chilchuck is roughly the size of his dogs. huh. i am so normal about this.

[crumplstiltskin]

bros au but they're 12 years apart and jujutsu tech scouted sukuna quite young

[a-lonely-dunedain]

Do not let his appearance fool you! he may look like a suave businessman, but he is unemployed and only one years old

[bigfatbreak]

Birds of a Feather previous / next

[aterfish]

Good thing it was a short spin

[glitched-starlight]

As Gravity Falls reenters the void, and the inevitably of fanfiction begins to recirculate, there is a comment I fear I must send out to the general public.

As a trans man who gets, like, -1 representation in shows that aren’t explicitly about queer people, I often will latch onto characters that inexplicably have The Trans (TM) written into their bones, which includes Dipper Pines. And, as one might expect, I turn to my silly little A03 account to get my fix of representation and enjoyment of many a trans dilemma. Unfortunately, this is where my qualms get given the spotlight.

This is a generalization, but it seems as though every single godforsaken fic about trans!Dipper (I see this in the Spider-Man fandom a lot too, but that’s a conversation for a different day) he loses all his unhingedness, all his insanity, and is boiled down to a weak and sad little uwu trans boy who can’t handle his own dysphoria and falls apart at every slight inconvenience?

You’re telling me DIPPER, the same man who got called weak one (1) time and then disappeared into the woods for a solid 12 hours and came back half naked and rambling about positive vs toxic masculinity and manotaurs, is going to get misgendered and fall completely and utterly apart? You seriously think he’s going to have a run in with somebody who tries to bully him for being trans and he isn’t going to read them to filth? Are we forgetting that this is the same man who spent a whole episode learning about how to live and let live and then STILL told Pacifica her family was a sham with the mic-drop line of “deal with it”?????

Like good lord, please give this man some credit. I’m not saying he can’t have panic attacks, or trauma, or be treated differently by certain people, but it is the year of our lord and savior 2024 and we are STILL infantilizing trans men in fanon versions of media???

All I’m saying is if Mabel gets to keep her unhinged characteristics, you gotta let Dipper keep his too. Let Dipper punch a transphobe, as a treat.

[choccy-milky]

dad seb dad seb dad seb 💕

[whathehonestfuk]

Steves absent asshole parents come home carrying a new born and he's rightfully confused as they hand it to him explaining that they're his half sibling (from one of his father's affairs that they have custody of for narrative reasons)

His parents just straight up leave telling him they'll send money for the baby expenses every month

They didn't even notice or care that the rest of the party was there hanging out and just watched Steve in real time accept single fatherhood of his baby sibling

(Eddie of course doesn't let it stay single father hood for long they've already got 7 kids together basically what's one more)

[lilshitwayne]

can they put cavill in more dilf roles? i dont watch witcher and i want to experience this

[gerrysroots]

Tmagp 5 statement giver is so incredibly dumb he's like the anti Joshua Gillespie

[lucifers-favorite-child]

Kon: Tim, they're literally invulnerable!

Tim: Don't TEST IT!

[antlersish]

You’re allowed to be horny on main when you’re drawing g Him, that’s. science